If fun and passion have fallen down your list of priorities, it is no wonder your relationship may have hit the sexual doldrums. But don’t think you are alone, a recent survey revealed that after 10 years of marriage, 75% of couples had sex less than once a week. After kids come along, 84% of couples said they could go more than 4 months without sex, so this is a very common problem, don’t beat yourself up.


It is so easy to fall into the same old pattern of work, from the everyday school run, to picking up mouldy old socks and underpants off the bedroom floor, all of which can be total passion killers. Talking about the points above, its no wonder that sex would be the last thing on your mind, but it is never too late to rekindle the fire and spark you once had.


If this really resonates with you and you want to move beyond playing the blame game of ‘she is never in the mood’ or ‘he never does anything romantic’, then go ahead and do it!


Here’s 6 of the best things you can do to reignite the sparks in your relationship!



TALK TO EACH OTHER


Man and woman sitting on opposite sides table with their laptops out smiling at screens. Heart and emoji bubbles around them

This may sound glaringly obvious, but communication can be a real issue in a relationship. If communication breaks down, it is easy to grow apart and just go through the motions.

Why not schedule some time to have a real chat with no interruptions, talk about your goals and dreams, and even make a bucket list together - this shows that the commitment is still there. Once thats done, you could move on to spicier subjects, like new sex positions, using toys, and any other fantasies you may have dreamt of.


Most importantly, talking about what created that initial spark between you as well as what attracted you to one another always guarantees to put a smile on your face, and if you're lucky, another couple of ‘special’ perks too!



FIND YOUR PARTNER’S LOVE LANGUAGE


Woman in pink shirt cooking while man with blue shirt hugs her from behind.

Whether you know it or not, each one of us has a love language, and this means things that your loved one really values. For example, some people like acts of service ie: hoovering, helping with the kids, the washing up, or even fixing the leaky tap in the bathroom.


Some people like gifts, as it makes them feel thought about and loved. Quality time could be their thing, giving them your undivided attention - take a moment to think about the last time you switched your phone off and asked them how they were and actually meant it.


It is no good doing the hoovering if their love language is gift giving and vice versa. There are 5 love languages in total, so find your partner’s and you will be blown away by the difference this makes to your connection and sex life.



DOING SOMETHING RANDOM


Male leg and female legs under the table playing footsie. Plant pot next to the woman

This can be very exciting and could be anything from shagging in the pub toilets to dogging in a quiet car park.


Apart from thinking of new places to have sex, you can also improvise at home. For example, you can clear an area in the living room to make space for a game of ‘Sexy Twister’, which is bound to raise some pulses.


Another random act could be a sexy picnic, or playing footsie under the table whilst out for a posh meal.


Things in life generally become mundane and unappealing when they are routine and samey, so make sure to mix it up a little.



WATCH PORN TOGETHER


Man and woman in bed watching their TV screen, showing the silhouette of a woman bending over a chair through a keyhole.

This could really help to get you in the mood. Of course, not everyone can deepthroat, have a 12-inch dick or can bend their legs behind their head. To be honest, a lot of it is pretty unrealistic but you could have fun watching it and maybe even trying to recreate some of it.


If you are both fans of old-school porn then maybe try roleplaying as a plumber coming to your partner's house to fix their 'pipes'. You could also pretend to be working in an office taking dick-tation (sorry couldn’t resist that one) and having sex with your boss! All it takes is a bit of imagination and you will remember why you got together with this sexy bit of stuff in the first place.



EXPERIMENT


Feet of two people in bed under the sheets with lit candles, adult toys, wine glasses, whipped cream and Nutella around them.

Trying new things is fun, whether thats new sex positions, sex foods or other kinks that you’ve both never experimented with. Make a list of what you both like and try each other’s fantasies, as this will only guarantee a lot of excitement and fun in your relationship.


You can also give Kama Sutra a go, although this is not for the faint hearted (but you can laugh while you try new sex positions out).


Seeing your partner horny and upside down, may make you chuckle if nothing else!


Imagine covering your partner with whipped cream, or bringing some viscous foods to the bedroom to get really dirty! Who knows, this might also give you a ‘certain’ appetite!



PLAYING WITH TOYS


People buying and selling adult products in a sex shop while some change into adult costumes and look at mannequins.

Introducing something new will keep your sex life exciting and fresh. There are so many adult toys readily available nowadays, anything from vibrators to dildos, and even sex swings.


Don’t forget to look into BDSM, which is another option as far as “toys” are concerned. You may find out that being blindfolded, handcuffed or dominated is your type of thing. PVC, whips and strap ons are also common items when it comes to BDSM, and could end up being your new fetish!


Whichever the case, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again, but you won’t know until you actually try it. Remember, enjoyment is the key to keeping things alive in the bedroom.



AND HERE’S THE VERDICT


The chances are if you are reading this, you still really love each other - try and remember why you got together in the first place and what made you fancy the pants off of each other. You are together for a reason, so think back to the time when you used to have mad passionate sex. There is no reason you cannot rekindle this passion and lust again, by making a few changes to your sexual routine!


Just remember to follow the 6 points we mentioned above, and you will surely see an improvement when it comes to your bedroom antics! Of course, you might not like some things but that’s okay, keep trying until you find the things that get you going.


At the end of the day, remembering to laugh, talk and have fun with your other half is the foundation of everything we’ve discussed if you want to bring the sparks back to your relationship!